Well, my husband and I are super annoyed this morning. Last week we had some problems with the battery on our 1992 Chevy S-10. No big deal, right? Not at all, other than the fact that we only have the truck we really have to think creatively to get it done. Luckily, we had a rental car since my sister ad her husband were visiting. So, he jumped the truck, drove it to Walmart and bought a new battery! Problem Solved.... Not really! It's been really cold here and it's an old truck so sometimes it struggles to start. This morning... AGAIN... wouldn't start. It was 2 degrees outside and Chris was troubleshooting. Mind you, he has no experience with cars just a lot of experience googling about cars! He cleaned the connector thingys and still, nothing.

As I watched him from our office window I decided to do the googling myself. I found out that even though you buy a BRAND NEW battery it still may not be charged. We believe this is the case for us. $72 for a battery that still gives us the same issues as the old. All this would be okay if we knew anyone who could come jump the truck, Chris could, again, go to Walmart and have it charged and be off to work in no time. However, we've lived here nearly 6 months and have met NO ONE! One of the things that really frustrated me this morning was the neighbor to our right brought his trash to the curb this morning and saw Chris trying to start the truck but said nothing. Another neighbor was returning from somewhere is his big, fancy truck and initially it looked like was going to roll down his window to talk to Chris but instead came to a complete stop just to back himself into his driveway!

SO, here we sit... Chris at his computer and I at mine with nothing that can be done! He's on the phone now with one of his employees hoping she can come and pick him up. He'll than take the battery with him, charge it at work, find a way to come back later, install the battery and pray for a miracle. I think he may try to jump the truck when she gets here to see how it works!

All of this would be so much easier if we just had another car!

I'm frustrated with people right now and their lack of care for the people around them. This frustration is compounded by the fact that we haven't found a church here yet, Christians, in general, aren't caring about those around them, and this adoption process.

I know this all sounds very harsh but let me explain a bit... We've visited several churches in the area since September. We have found one that is ok, but not great. We can deal with O.K. but there us something to be said about feeling welcome in a church. No one speaks to us or even notices that we're visitors. We did attend on a Wednesday night and the pastor was VERY nice. There were only about 25 or 30 people in attendance so you would think people would be more apt to, at the very least, say hello. But alas, not a single word from ANYONE! Renee went to the youth group and said it was OK but didn't know if she would fit in. So that's my frustration with Church Searching!

As far as Christians are concerned? Here's my deal... I'm a former Pastor's daughter... My Dad threw himself in to ministry when I was very young. Things seemed alright at first, but again, I was a kid. As my Dad moved from tiny church to tiny church I fit in less and less. I was mentally abused by the kids and ignored by adults. My parents, eventually, divorced and that was that. My Dad did get back into ministry but was, terribly, unsuccessful. I thought, for a long time, that the music ministry was where I was "called" to be. But now, who knows. After my Dad was FORCED out of the ministry by the Co-pastor of the church he built things got even worse. I, finally, began to realize what church(the one's I experienced) was all about. It was about doing what you're told and bowing down to the families that have more money and power than you do. It wasn't about compassion for the lost, love for your neighbor or the message of Jesus. It was about control. The older women wanted to control all the younger women and teens. The men, well, they wanted to dictate to ALL! The only time there was "compassion" was when there was a show to be put on or new member to the clique. This has been my church life for years and years. Crazy enough, we have continued to attend church because it's the right thing to do all the while things never changing. We're still the young ones who need to be controlled. I'm still the 31 year old with a half black 15 year old. I'm still the one with Dad who, blatantly, walked away from what was right to submit to a wife who cares nothing for anything but herself. I'm still the little girl whose family was broken like so many others but none of the "christians" would intercede to help.
These things never change. This adoption process has served to remind of that.

Life has served to remind me that we, people, really are wicked and shameful. Quick story... Chris and I rarely go on dates. In fact, since we moved here in September we've only been on two dates. Anyway, Chris decided to take me on a date Saturday. We went to see Slumdog Millionare, which was awesome, and went to dinner at a really nice restaurant at the casino ( we don't gamble so it was a little weird). Anyway, we're in line waiting for a table, when we hear a woman talking to the man she was with. Initially, she was just very mean and spiteful to the man but he just took it. Then she started complaining about politics. This, I know, is not unusual especially in this day and age. But, she never talked about politics, itself, just Barack Obama being "colored" and how he should be "shot"! Chris and I were mortified! We don't agree with his politics but we think it's amazing that and african american family is living in the white house. This woman continued to go on and on about what she called "coloreds". I was on the edge of losing my mind when she exclaimed, "If I were president I would sterilize them all! All they ( you know coloreds) wanted to do is have babies and be on Welfare. Sterilize 'em!" We couldn't believe what we were hearing! What terrible things to say about other HUMAN BEINGS! It's sick! Chris looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just HATE being white." We just can't get away from the hatefulness and the filth. I have never felt a stronger urge to punch someone in that face like I did that night.

I feel ashamed to be so many things. I'm ashamed to call my self a christian. I'm ashamed to be white. I'm ashamed to be a woman. I'm ashamed because I'm fat. I'm ashamed that my house isn't clean enough. I'm ashamed of not being the best wife I can be or friend I can or daughter I can be or sister. I guess in the end, I'm ashamed of being human. How do you reconcile that other than with the blood of Jesus Christ!

I know what you're thinking, "All this because f a Dead Car Battery?" I don't know...

I don't mean to be a downer, but this weekend has brought many things to light! Don't be discouraged by me... I'm just trying to figure the stuff out!

BTW, sorry this is so long!

Hey all-

Well, my sister and her husband left this past Wednesday. We were very sad to see them go but we had an AWESOME time!

I wanted to let everyone know that I added a few new things to my etsy. Check it out!

laurashandmadehaven.etsy.com


TTYL

Laura

We moved here from Indiana almost 5 months ago and haven't been back to visit yet. so I haven't seen my sis, Betsy, since the morning we left.  I miss her soooooo much and she's going to be here TOMORROW!!  I'm real excited!

A Huge thanks goes out to Christina for suggesting I get an Etsy shop! I have a few handmade things that I posted so I hope everyone will take a look at them. I hope to make some more things and post them!

I'm so excited!!!!

Thanks Christina!

Laura

Many of you may not know that I have a 15 year old daughter. I don't talk about her very often on this blog as it has been very dedicated to the adoption. I wanted to take time today to express how proud I am to be her mother. I couldn't ask for a better kid.

I gave birth to Renee when I was 16 years old. I was a single mother until she was nine. I went to school and college and worked full time until I got marrried five years ago. I had high hopes for her but never thought she would be as great as she is now.

She's smart, funny, witty, thoughtful, stylish (aka...a fashion diva), and beautiful. And above all, loves Jesus.

I'm not sure she'll ever know how much I love her and how proud of her I am.

I also don't think she'll ever know how lucky she is.

When she was very little I prayed endlessly for a daddy for her. I knew parenting was not designed to be done alone and every little girl needs her Daddy. She has no idea how much I prayed and longed for that part of her life to be full.

Interestingly enough, the Daddy I had prayed for had been in our lives all along. He was at the hospital the night she was born and fell in love with her the first time he saw her.

I never thought I'd be married to Chris... We've known each other since Junior high! God has crafted this family and I wouldn't have it any other way.

No one is luckier than I.

I love you, Renee. You'll never how proud I am of you.

Mom

Hey all,

I wanted to take a minute and ask for your prayers... As we are waiting for Sofia to come home we are desperately trying to save/raise money to finish the journey. However, we are struggling to make everything work. I'm sure all of you know the difficulties of saving money for something that seems to never have a financial end. I say all this to ask for your prayers for our adoption fund.

We are also in need of a car/minivan... Currently we have Chris' 1992 Chevy S-10. It's a decent vehicle and it works for us. Unfortunately, it is in no condition to drive long distances and it won't be suitable when Sofia comes home as it is very small.
We have been in PA for nearly 4 months now... It's been fun and hard at the same time and because the truck isn't that great we haven't been able to drive the 14 hours to indiana to visit family yet. It's been difficult not seeing family and friends.

Long story short, please pray for God's provision as we wait to see where He's leading.

TTYL,

Laura

I got a couple pics from the orphanage today!

Check 'em out!







I can't believe how different she looks since the last time I was with her. It's difficult not being sad. But I do love looking at her pics. She's just lovely. Enjoy!


Laura